Monday, August 20, 2018

My Baby, My Precious!

Three good friends stopped by yesterday, two together, one after they left.  Many great conversations were had, but one note in particular was extremely helpful to me in putting certain things I've been struggling with in context.

In art school, the whole "My Precious!" thing regarding the art object I created got drummed out of me, and for good reason. It is an object, and what people say about or do to that object is not something that can hurt me. I can take that information and use it appropriately, or file it in the category in which it belongs.

Sometime in the last few moths or years I've reverted to "My Precious!" and didn't realize it until recently, and couldn't understand why my feelings were getting hurt when someone criticized my work. In a theoretical conversation about spheres of control, Cori pointed out that I have lost so much over the last few years in terms of my physical independence (illness, loss of the driving, not being able to work, etc.) and the arts and crafts are one of the few things that I am 100% in control of, that they have become much much more important to me in terms of my time and emotional investments.

Elisabeth pointed out that most people in our hobby feel that way about the things they create, in fact most people who have not been through art school do; that object is My Baby. My Baby may be ugly, a bit stinky, scream real loud, and have some kind of rash happening on their head, but it's MY baby, and My Baby is the most beautiful precious wonderful baby on the face of the planet and I will cut you if you say differently.

There are of course ways to help someone with their baby without insulting them; "What a precious little baby, very lively! He seems to be a bit gassy, have you tried burping him on your knee vs. on your shoulder (alternate technique)? All of mine had cradle cap, they grow out of it eventually (practice/time). Look at your beautiful little face and tiny human hands, you are just too cute for words!" Shortened to the point of rudeness there, but parents know what is wrong with their kids, or they know something is going on even if not exactly what, but we don't barge in on their parenting and tromp all over telling them what for and expect a good reaction. So treat the art like someone's precious newborn, including your own. Yes, newborns are ugly, so is new art (mostly, except mine, he was beautiful - JK, he looked like an angry old man with a rash, but he got pretty over time, and once we figured out the milk allergy he became healthy and beautiful). Same with arts & crafts; they improve over time. And like children, they may be far from perfect for their entire lives, but they are still My Baby! and that is important.

My friends have good insight, and these are important things to remember.
They also got to meet the fuzzy bunns, which is even more important; just ask Tootsie, she'll tell you.